Jake died on December 20th. He died at time of big changes in my life - move, career transition, start of a new business, start of my late 30s. I've already said "farewell" to my childhood home and my sweet dog; soon, I'll probably see my 95-year-old Grammy's death.
This year has been hard. I thought that all of this change would give me a clean slate, but I realize now that I bring me to everything. There is no clean slate, no fresh start.
That's good. I want Jake to accompany me. I want the lovely growth of my 30s to inform my decisions. I want the struggles of my consulting career to remind me that I can do the big, scary things and come out okay. I want to move forward, not start over.
So I close this year grieving, but also so aware that I can do everything I need to. I can survive change. No clean slate, just growth. I take me wherever I go.
Kudos to you and your fearless embrace of life, Jen! It is truly admirable.
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I love that you're present within your journey.
ReplyDeleteI love that your knapsack has been packed with mementos of what you've gone through to remind you of how strong you are because of it.
And I love your resilience. You are such an inspiration.
<3 - Steph
Amen. Thanks for so eloquently sharing this part of your journey here. Wishing you peace as you walk your heart's path into 2013 ... Heather
ReplyDeleteyou are so wise Jen, you're right ...you CAN take you wherever you need to go! so much love to you xoxo
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